My darling Elsie,
The last 11 months have simply gone by too fast. You seem to have grown up so much this last month – so many changes, such big leaps forward. My heart wants to hold on for as long as possible but my head reminds me it’s good to let you grow, to celebrate your progress, to revel in the beautiful little girl you are blossoming into.
I sorted through your baby clothes yesterday afternoon, putting aside a special bundle of pieces just too precious to let go of on one side of me and and neatly folding a pile destined for new owners on the other. Seeing them all again reminded me just how fleeting the first year is and how easy it can be to take it for granted.
When I scooped you up out of your bath last night and wrapped you in your towel, you burrowed your face deep into my chest as you so love to do. I took a moment to pause; that nuzzling you do, the sweet smell of your golden curls, the weight of your body in my arms, the warmth of your skin against mine. I wanted that moment to last forever, you fitted so perfectly into my arms. I know it won’t be long before your legs will be dangling and you’ll be impatient to get down but not last night, you were so happy to be still with me. I must have scooped you out of the bath hundreds of times over the past 11 months and never stopped to savour that moment. It was a good reminder to be present, to enjoy the little things, the moments we’d otherwise forget.
11 months old and so full of love and affection. Your brother was very independent at this age and would happily play for long periods on his own but you look for me in a room and like to be near. You are a sensitive soul and get frightened easily by sudden noises or by your boisterous big brother barging past you (I don’t blame you really). When I give you your milk you go into a trance and start stroking your little curls very softly to comfort yourself, it’s so sweet, so endearing. You are having a hard time being put down at night and don’t like me to leave the room. We’re taking it slowly and reassuring you where we can. I’m sure it’s just a phase.
You love to play with the noisy toys, the ones that go “BANG CLASH” and your favourite thing to do is put the bricks in the box and take the bricks out of the box. Your face lights up when we read to you, you point at the pictures and coo. You are very attached to your little lamby, I bought it for you when I was pregnant and slept with it in my bed in the few weeks before you were born so it would smell of me. You look for it at night and delight when I pull it out of the changing bag if we’re out and about.
I am so lucky to be spending my days with you. To be the one who gets to raise you, the one whose chest you burrow into. Please stay little forever.
Love mama xxx