I was reading a post from Jodi’s blog while nursing late last night and something she said struck a chord. She was talking about being mindful when exhaustion starts to creep in and learning to ‘embrace slow’.
I realised that’s exactly what I need to do a little more of. Put the brakes on every once in a while, take deep breaths, say ‘no’ more often. To accept I can’t do it all. I frequently try to cram too much into a day and only end up feeling overwhelmed, flustered, run ragged and perhaps worst of all, I feel I failed when I pull my weary body into bed that night.
Sometimes I forget that my life and its pace have changed from the days before children, never mind before our second baby came along. Gone are the days I could nip out to the shops with only so much as a handbag on my person. I’m slowly accepting that trying to do more than 2 activities a day is useless unless I want to feel drained come teatime.
I guess life isn’t really productive in the conventional sense at the moment. Two young children certainly keep me on my toes and fill my days but by the time we reach Friday the list of things I’ve actually achieved is really quite short. I think more than anything, nursing a young baby is incredibly time consuming and means you are tied to hour long bursts in a chair drinking luke warm tea throughout the day. It’s certainly a commitment that limits what you can fit into your day in between. With just one baby it was easier to do so, but trying to get two out of the house is a small mission in itself.
The good news is, I’ve decided to stop fighting it and accept that there is nothing wrong with a slower pace for a while. Some days may only be filled with the basics – feeding, playing, a walk to feed the ducks, but that’s ok. Setting fewer goals each day will mean I am more likely to realise them and feel a sense of productivity and achievement at the end of a week. And as long as I have time off too to just be me – with my husband or with friends as often as possible, I can deal with the fact that some days can just end up sucked into nothingness.
I love my family more than life itself and they come first, but I sometimes I need to nourish myself. To take a moment when things get a little crazy. Us mothers do so much giving that we often forget to cut ourselves some slack, take a little time, recharge, be good to ourselves and embrace a slower pace. I’m realising more and more that the sign of a great day is often as simple as messy corners, muddy boots, sleepy babies and left over dinner heated up with a little glass of red on the sofa.