I woke up to a four year old running into my bedroom saying “mummy, mummy, it’s my birthday!!!!”, I’d forgotten just how exciting birthdays are when you’re four!
Valentines day will forever be the day I laboured with Raff and so yesterday was for remembering. I thought about that labour, about the way it pushed me and pulled me and tested me in ways I’d never known. And most of all I remembered the moment I held him for the first time and the hours that followed. The first time we were left on our own together. The first time I nursed him. The first time I changed his nappy. The first time I stood up from the bed after delivering only to wet myself because – well you know, you have zero anything down there straight after delivery!
I remember the whole raw, powerful and pure experience and I feel truly grateful. He was worth that and then some, a million times over. And after four years of knowing him, loving him and mothering him, I can honestly say that the love that you feel from day one just keeps on growing, a bit like his feet!
I took him on a walk this afteroon as the sun was setting so we could run off some of the birthday cake. As he darted about the heath shouting in delight at every giant puddle he came across I felt only warmth and happiness in my heart. I am so grateful this sweet funny boy was the one who made me a mother.
Happy birthday Raffy darling. We love you xoxo